What do you do?

 Have you ever wondered why you encounter  the question "what do you do?" more than "how do you do? " (Maybe an Indian thing of poking one's nose into another's life). If you are a married woman and a mother at that, you will get this question more often.

I have been fiddling with this  question for so many years now until one day the realization finally dawned upon me. 

It is hard to keep up with the societal standards. It is harder to meet people's expectation about you. And the hardest part is answering the million dollar question 'what do you do?'  

Well, it may sound a bit vague but the real intended question here is, how is your career graph going? At this juncture, everything else in life appears secondary. So it is pointless if you try to answer the question by listing out the things that you do on a day to day basis. 

It doesn't matter if you learn new things each day or are teaching and moulding the future generation. It least concerns anyone if you take care of all your family's needs, do all the chores by yourself, cook healthy and delicious food for your loved ones etc. No one cares if you have published a couple of books or painted a hundred pictures. The certificates and accomplishments adorning your walls will always remain invisible. At the end of the day, what the society still wants to know is "what is that you really do? "

Nothing. 

Housework is a joke. You are doing nothing.

If you do whatever work you can do, sitting at your home - still it would count as nothing. 

Because if you don't go out and earn, you are 'literally' doing nothing.

'Charity begins at home' sounds to be an interesting concept, but practically if you chose to cater to  your family's needs over the societal standards and expectations - you are doing nothing

Basically even if you move mountains, or stand on your head,  it proves nothing.

Society puts a lot of pressure on us. And it takes a mental toll on us when we try to meet those expectations. 

Working woman is the norm. If we deviate from that path and chose family welfare above everything else, we will be sidelined, looked down on and finally pushed to a state where we start to self loathe .

As we are the decisions that we make, we have to take full responsibility of it.  It is totally a personal decision and in no case are we accountable to the society when we decide for ourselves. Some people chose to stay at home and take care of everything; some go out ,work and delegate; some manage everything all together. It depends on person to person. There is no black and white. 

 

Take charge of your life without trying to satisfy the society. No matter what you do, you will always be judged for your actions and that is beyond one's control. Societal perception cannot be changed but for sure we can change our perception  and be proud of our own decisions. 

So  if you want to know 'What do I really do'? , well I do what I should be doing and I will do whatever needs to be done as time and circumstances demand(Which translates to - 'I do Nothing').