Kavyanjali

There she stands leaning against the wall the most judgmental of them all  her eyes doing constant inspections pointing out my imperfections Looking down at me, she stands so tall digging deeper into my unfixable hole and I die every time she smirks at me ignorant of my existence beyond this body As she appears, all my flaws unroll camouflaging my beautiful soul she stares at me from the virtual space as tears come streaming down my face But she doesn't know what I possess within the spirit which radiates in me remains unseen She says the world takes things only for face value thence I am left to sulk with the unconventional few 

They don't know the things you have been through; the circumstances which have shaped you. They don't know about the things you had to give up; the scars you had to cover up. They don't know  about the inner battles you have fought; the morals you have been taught. They don't know  the stories behind your actions; the past which butchered you in fractions. They don't know about the thoughts which echo in silence; the times when you question your existence.

I wanted to be your shade when the blazing rays penetrated into your flesh but I was just a bare tree weeping over my own blemish I wanted to be your sail on the thunderous stormy night but I was just a worn out fabric which set you adrift worsening your plight I wanted to be your light when in the darkness you stumbled but I was just a feeble spark even in the zephyr I trembled I wanted to be that person who you'd hold on to when you felt helpless but I was just another human uncaring, inconsiderate and hopeless

I never saw a beautiful me gleam in their eyes never watched a benevolent me beam in their words never met an obliging me strutting in their wishes and never encountered a dauntless me reigning in myself I painted them all with the brightest colours but they always found me smeared in black and white I highlighted them as glittering stars and they shaded me into a dark night sky And then I sculpted myself with their eyes judged myself through their words priced myself at their wishes and finally my self worth faded into nothingness

I came here in your pursuit hoping as I mount the time to meet you en route  Where the sky touches the earth when the light infiltrates the darkness when the voices fill up the vacuum you promised me the oneness  But my senses set me adrift keeping me from reaching your shore the world unfolds before me and I forget it's you who I am looking for you are within and beyond in the blood which flows through my veins the smoke, escaping through the spaces between my fingers   But still I search for you in the crowded lanes

It is faith that connects me and you strangers in the same world waiting for a dream come true You are the clouded sky I am the pouring rain I am the wound incised on your skin and you are my pestering pain Between us unrolls the whole world the obscure reflections in the restless water the blinding rays of the blazing sun and the unheard whispers in a noisy chatter At the bottom of the hourglass I wait for you to trickle down And I see your hand try grabbing mine as, in pursuit of you, I drown

I sprouted from your desires and branched out into empty space embosomed you with my shadow mounting the skies as you counted the days Feeding on your aspirations I bore the sweetest fruits Generations passed me by And I stood incarcerated in my own roots In silence I suffered with lingering sighs  when you axed me with your ignorance As the Lightning struck I burnt in your indifference Now you dampen me with hopes thrusting vigour and a new resolve once again I stretch into the arms of the wind                                                                   witnessing new facets of life evolve