The worth of self-worth

Somewhere on our run to meet societal standards or on our hike to fulfill worldly expectations or in our quest to be someone who we are not, we lose our self-worth. In the taunts, jeers, scorns, scoldings, judgements, advice and opinion of others, it shatters down into a million pieces leaving behind a frail, insecure, loathsome and broken mess.

From childhood traumas to the difficult transition into adulthood, each and very bad experience that builds up inside, impacts negatively on our self-worth. It even makes us forget the real us in this journey of what we want to become; turns us hateful towards our own being. 

We all have qualities, good and bad. There is no specific scale or standard to measure these qualities as they sprout from individual perception. But we are so keen on balancing this good and bad and we constantly keep struggling to outweigh bad with good. Why? Because we all want to be good; to be noble; to be saints. But to be practical, none of us, living this worldly life ever can be saints that we are so keen on becoming. We can’t just eliminate our bad traits and savor only the good ones. It doesn’t work that way. What really happens is that we keep on trying, but each time we fail (for obvious reasons), we start hating ourselves more and more. We start enlisting our bad qualities, reminiscing our bad experiences and succumb to the negative aspects of life and end up believing that’s what we are; the faulty inferior beings; good for nothing, loved by no one. 

If we do not know our own worth, no one ever will. We cannot expect others to love us, when we ourselves do not. Switching on the self loathing mode never helps in our growth. We are what our thoughts are. So if we think of ourselves as inferiors, flawed, ugly and weak, we eventually become all of those things. We have to emerge out of this self destructive thought structure that we have shaped for ourselves.

We do not have to change into someone who we are not or someone what others expect us to be. What is the dire need to succumb to peer pressure or to match the beauty standards just to fit in this world, when there is a much better option to stand out and make a difference? 

We need to value our true self and for that we need to start from scratch. The first step is to accept; accept ourselves, our positives and negatives; our strengths and flaws. Only after acceptance, do we know ourselves- who we really are. And only when we get to know our true self, can we truly love ourselves. And once we regain our deep lost self worth, we can stand up for ourselves, defend our rights and fight against all odds. 

We are all different people on this planet with unique identities. We should shut down this urge to ape and change into someone who we think are superior to us. What we should truly be doing is evolve into our own superior selves. 

Self worth is our most priceless possession. It is like the foundation of our being; the stronger it is, the lesser the chance for our edifice to fall.